This is cute as fuck and describes pretty accurately how I feel too.
This comic is included Anything that Loves edited by Zan Christensen.
aside from this comic being really cute and honest, it also points out this really huge glaring problem in the gay community in relation to trans-men.
in my experience with a lot of gay men, they have this extremely purist view when it comes to what being a “real man” is, which is bad enough when you have different gay subcultures (bears, gymrats, etc) who have different specific definitions of what a “real man” is.
however for the most part, many gay men seem to agree upon a point of leaving trans-men not only out of their gender, but out of their sexuality as well and I have a real fucking problem with that.
i’m pretty open about things that relate to my sexuality, and i myself identify more or less as a homosexual, but i’ve found the worst part in the gay community is dealing with this bullshit. eventually i found that i at least have the luxury of telling guys to fuck off if i don’t meet their standards, but i know that’s a lot harder for folk when they seem to have the entire population of homosexuals more or less invalidating not only their gender, but their orientation as well.
with all of that said, i just ask this. if you happen to be a cisgender homosexual, like myself, don’t tell other gay men that they aren’t actually gay if they’re dating or have had relations with a trans-man because that’s a load of fucking bullshit.
more important, under any circumstance do not tell a trans-man they’re not a man or that they aren’t allowed to like other men who are homosexual, be they cis or trans.
that’s all i really wanted to say.
hey uhhh my dash seems to need this right now hello lets be better informed
When you are hurting, there will always be people who find a way to make it about themselves. If you break your wrist, they’ll complain about a sprained ankle. If you are sad, they’re sadder. If you’re asking for help, they’ll demand more attention.
Here is a fact: I was in a hospital and sobbing into my palms when a woman approached me and asked why I was making so much noise and I managed to stutter that my best friend shot himself in the head and now he was 100% certified dead and she made this little grunt and had the nerve to tell me, “Well now you made me sad.”
When you get angry, there are going to be people who ask you to shut up and sit down, and they’re not going to do it nicely. Theirs are the faces that turn bright red before you have a chance to finish your sentence. They won’t ask you to explain yourself. They’ll be mad that you’re mad and that will be their whole reason alone.
Here is a fact: I was in an alleyway a few weeks ago, stroking my friend’s back as she vomited fourteen tequila shots. “I hate men,” she wheezed as her sides heaved, “I hate all of them.”
I braided her hair so it wouldn’t get caught in the mess. I didn’t correct her and reply that she does in fact love her father and her little brother too, that there are strangers she has yet to meet that will be better for her than any of her shitty ex-boyfriends, that half of our group of friends identifies as male - I could hear each of her bruises in those words and I didn’t ask her to soften the blow when she was trying to buff them out of her skin. She doesn’t hate all men. She never did.
She had the misfortune to be overheard by a drunk guy in an ill-fitting suit, a boy trying to look like a man and leering down my dress as he stormed towards us. “Fuck you, lady,” he said, “Fuck you. Not all men are evil, you know.”
“Thanks,” I told him dryly, pulling on her hand, trying to get her inside again, “See you.”
He followed us. Wouldn’t stop shouting. How dare she get mad. How dare she was hurting. “It’s hard for me too!” he yowled after us. “With fuckers like you, how’s a guy supposed to live?”
Here’s a fact: my father is Cuban and my genes repeat his. Once one of my teachers looked at my heritage and said, “Your skin doesn’t look dirty enough to be a Mexican.”
When my cheeks grew pink and my tongue dried up, someone else in the classroom stood up. “You can’t say that,” he said, “That’s fucking racist. We could report you for that.”
Our teacher turned vicious. “You wanna fail this class? Go ahead. Report me. I was joking. It’s my word against yours. I hate kids like you. You think you’ve got all the power - you don’t. I do.”
Later that kid and I became close friends and we skipped class to do anything else and the two of us were lying on our backs staring up at the sky and as we talked about that moment, he sighed, “I hate white people.” His girlfriend is white and so is his mom. I reached out until my fingers were resting in the warmth of his palm.
He spoke up each time our teacher said something shitty. He failed the class. I stayed silent. I got the A but I wish that I didn’t.
Here is a fact: I think gender is a social construct and people that want to tell others what defines it just haven’t done their homework. I personally happen to have the luck of the draw and am the same gender as my sex, which basically just means society leaves me alone about this one particular thing.
Until I met Alex, who said he hated cis people. My throat closed up. I’m not good at confrontation. I avoided him because I didn’t want to bother him.
One day I was going on a walk and I found him behind our school, bleeding out of the side of his mouth. The only thing I really know is how to patch people up. He winced when the antibacterial cream went across his new wounds. “I hate cis people,” he said weakly.
I looked at him and pushed his hair back from his head. “I understand why you do.”
Here is a fact: anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is how people stop themselves from hurting. Anger is how people stop themselves by empathizing.
It is easy for the drunken man to be mad at my friend. If he says “Hey, fuck you, lady,” he doesn’t have to worry about what’s so wrong about men.
It’s easy for my teacher to fail the kids who speak up. If we’re just smart-ass students, it’s not his fault we fuck up.
It’s easy for me to hate Alex for labeling me as dangerous when I’ve never hurt someone a day in my life. But I’m safe in my skin and his life is at risk just by going to the bathroom. I understand why he says things like that. I finally do.
There’s a difference between the spread of hatred and the frustration of people who are hurting. The thing is, when you are broken, there will always be someone who says “I’m worse, stop talking.” There will always be people who are mad you’re trying to steal the attention. There will always be people who get mad at the same time as you do - they hate being challenged. It changes the rules.
I say I hate all Mondays but my sister was born on one and she’s the greatest joy I have ever known. I say I hate brown but it’s really just the word and how it turns your mouth down - the colour is my hair and my eyes and my favorite sweater. I say I hate pineapple but I still try it again every Easter, just to see if it stings less this year. It’s okay to be sad when you hear someone generalize a group you’re in. But instead of assuming they’re evil and filled with hatred, maybe ask them why they think that way - who knows, you might just end up with a new and kind friend.
By telling the oppressed that their anger is unjustified, you allow the oppression to continue. I know it’s hard to stay calm. I know it’s scary. But you’re coming from the safe place and they aren’t. Just please … Try to be more understanding. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
EVERYBODY READ THIS. RIGHT NOW.
Don’t forget the fear. Anger is easier than fear.
Last week I started a petition requesting that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert (or anyone, really) stop making transphobic jokes on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. You can read all about it here and here.
Today, with the help of my friends (Thank you for being a friend, Ryan!) and despite my inferior spelling skills (No Thank you for being a fiend, Autocorrect!), we flew past our initial goal of 100 signatures.
Onward and upward. Tomorrow’s goal is the front page of change.org, so I’m thinking 50,000-100,000 signatures would be fine. Seriously though, 100K signatures would be awesome but it will probably take more than a day or two, so let’s say 1000 is next. In the meantime, please continue to share the petition far and wide. I will continue to work on making sure that your voices reach the decision makers. Also, I have no idea what I am doing. If you’ve run a successful petition or similar project and have some protips, I will listen.
Jon, Stephen, Sumner, I know you read my blog so please allow me to share just a few of the many excellent, relevant, perspective-inducing, comments on the petition:
I’m a veteran, a liberal, and a transsexual woman. It bothers me that Mr Stewart and Mr. Colbert are so willing to respect me for my term of military service while simultaneously thoughtless enough to disrespect me and other trans people on a regular basis. I don’t believe they do this out of malice, but I think this kind of humor is beneath them and inconsistent with their politics.
Jokes made at the expense of marginalized and vulnerable people, and which reinforce pernicious myths about them, are cheap, easy jokes. The proper targets of satire–as you should know, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert–are the complacent, comfortable and powerful, not the vulnerable and disenfranchised. Please don’t resort to lazy humour which devalues and endangers the lives of those who are its targets.
Several people I love and hold in greatest esteem have been physically and emotionally assaulted because of their gender orientation. I strongly believe that everyone has the responsibility to end transphobia.
These are such intelligent guys that are doing a whole lot of good- I’m sure they only need to be aware of this to change it for the better. I respect them immensely and doubt they’re being intentionally hateful, but this is important to be aware of.
“Satire” should punch up, not further hurt and marginalized people who are already treated as less-than-human by much of society. Telling transphobic jokes is not progressive, it’s not cool, it’s not funny.
I’m a transwoman. I watch your shows. I like your shows. But these things make me feel bad about being who i am. And i just want you to realize that what you are saying isn’t funny, just hurtful.
I’m a trans woman and frequent Colbert Report and Daily Show viewer. I love the commentary and humor but hate never knowing if I’m going to be dehumanized for a cheap laugh.
I’m a transgender person who regularly views both shows, although I honestly watch Colbert less now because of his frequent use of transphobic humor. I’d like to see more of Stewart’s segments mocking transphobic bigots, rather than more segments where we’re the punchline for a cheap joke. Remember, there’s a lot of scared, closeted trans teenagers watching your shows, and those little jokes can do more damage than someone who hasn’t gone through it can possibly imagine.
Good comedy punches up. Bullies punch down.
Yo guys if you could help spread this around and sign it, it’s kind of a big deal. These guys are sort of held as the epitome of what being a good “progressive” is in this country, and if they can get away with throwing tr*nny out as often as they do, then they’re setting an example that says casual transphobia is not just A-OK, but cute and funny.
I used to like Bones. Until there was an episode with a gender nonconforming individual and everyone was all wrapped up in “are they a boy or a girl.” To the point where one character held them in an uncomfortably long and invasive hug, to get a read on their genitals, then told everyone “it moved.”
I was pretty much done after that.
"Secular Woman members have teamed up to present a petition opposing the transphobic actions of Cathy Brennan’s Gender Identity Watch. She and her group forward an agenda that is abusive and harmful to transgender women. Their tactics include targeting named individuals. "
This is tumblr, I most likely don’t have to tell you who Cathy Brennan is. She is responsible for the harassment and doxxing of many transgender individuals. This goes beyond simply trolling someone online, doxxing trans people puts their lives in danger.
We can’t let this continue, and this is one more angle to come at her from. Don’t scroll past, we need every signature we can get so please sign this and share, signal boost on tumblr on twitter on facebook, plaster this where ever you can. Do not let her continue to needlessly endanger innocent lives.
I will never stop reblogging this.
this is literally my worst nightmare. This is why I’m terrified to become a parent. This is why, despite others telling my not to work so a damn hard, I tried and tried and tried for the whole past year to repair my relationship with my partner’s mother and stepfather. They finally disowned us only about ten days ago, and I’m SCARED. I was attributing it to my anxiety disorder, but now that I read this article, I know that my fear is valid. This is happening right now - and it could happen to any of my beautiful trans siblings.
See, this is why marriage equality isn’t the most important issue. This is why we’ve been shouting and stomping our feet and never. shutting. up. It’s because children are being stripped of their parents for no other reason than THEIR PARENTS ARE HATEFUL BIGOTS.
Daniel and Cindy are young parents whose world has been turned upside down because Daniel is transgender. He transitioned over a decade ago when he was 19, and few people know that he is transgender. When Daniel and Cindy decided to have children, they told Cindy’s parents that Daniel is transgender because they were conceiving in vitro with donated sperm.
And, I suppose, they must also have trusted that her parents would continue to accept their son-in-law.
This was a mistake.
Cindy gave birth to healthy twins 2 ½ years ago, and Daniel and Cindy and the twins have been very happy – except for one problem.
Cindy’s parents make rude comments about Daniel being transgender, and they do it in front of the twins.
Requests for them to stop are met with mirth.
Daniel and Cindy put up with this behavior for a long while, but as the twins are getting older, they worry that the negative comments are harmful, and they don’t want to be forced to try and explain concepts to their young children that are beyond their ability or need to understand – in vitro, transgender.
Daniel and Cindy made the difficult decision that the grandparents are no longer welcome in their lives.
The grandparents got angry and sued for custody of the children.
The twins have two loving parents.
Child Protective Services have never been called; there have been no police reports of abuse; neither parent has a criminal record.
Last week, a court removed the twins from their home and gave custody to the grandparents.
Their father is transgender.
Daniel and Cindy are working with a lawyer to try and get their children back.
Will they get them back? Who knows? What we do know that the children have pulled out of their home and are living with two people who demean and ridicule their father.Names have been changed, as the story hasn’t hit the news yet - offering the family privacy until they choose to take it public. more at the link above.
Hey, all you folks, you 29,330+ who have reblogged our transawareness post - this is important.
This is why organizations like GLAAD and FCKH8 and HRC are so damaging. Because when they mock, misgender, ignore, insult, and silence us, this is the result. A loving, happy family that’s been ripped apart.
You want to do more than just reblog awareness posts? Stop supporting those businesses (YES, FCKH8 IS A BUSINESS) and organizations that try to shut us out and shut us down.
So, I am now boycotting Jelly Belly.
This saddens me because I love those buttered popcorn jelly beans. They’re delicious.
But I refuse to support any organization that actively hurts trans* kids.
a short masterpost of posts about how oppression works and why cisphobia / reverse racism / heterophobia isn’t real. please stop complaining about it now
- why can’t i say the n word?
- why everybody shouldn’t just be nice
- "but not every white guy is like that!"
- reverse racism is not real
- why some queer people dislike macklemore
- why adding more POC to a piece of media is not the same as adding more white people
- "why doesn’t the A stand for ally"
- about hate
[yells into the night] I JUST WANT TRANS* CHARACTERS WHO AREN’T CONSTANTLY HARASSED, BULLIED, REJECTED, OR REDUCED TO SUFFERING MARTYRS BECAUSE OF THEIR GENDER FOR THE PURPOSE OF CREATING ANGST/DRAMA IN THEIR NARRATIVES