This was taken from this video:
And I’m surprised that more people aren’t upset by this. I keep seeing clips from this being reblogged everywhere, filled with squee and flailing about the cuteness and hotness of the boys, the fact that they say “her, or him” without hesitation, and the kiss on the cheek. All cool things.
Too bad the message of the video is so problematic it’s disgusting.
The “Friend zone” is a concept that if a guy is nice to a girl, she’ll start to see him as “friends only” material and “love him like a brother,” but the man might want more than that, and therefore is recommended to act like a jerk or a “bad boy” to “escape the friend zone.” At least, that’s how I understand it. There also seems to be a vein of belief that if a man is nice to a woman for a significant amount of time, she therefore owes him sex, which of course is bullshit.
Somehow, whenever I read or see something about the “friend zone,” the people involved always miss the most obvious answer: TALK TO HER. Tell her you have feelings for her, you’re sexually attracted to her, your romantically attracted to her. TALK TO HER. Lay the damn cards on the table. Being sneaky and stealthy never words except in sit-coms and rom-coms. Don’t try to trick a person into falling for you. Just be honest.
Instead, we get instances like the interview above. At first, after Colton says “go for it,” it seems like he’s talking about being honest and talking. Tell her how you feel. But then Tyler says to go for the kiss, and Colton seems to agree.
This is where I lost my shit.
Because kissing without consent? NOT COOL.
There are various ways to acquire consent for a kiss. You could say “Hey, I really want to kiss you right now.” You could ask, “May I kiss you?” Or you could move your head in for a kiss and pause, allowing the other person to complete the act. None of these options are involved in “Just kiss her.” (Also the casual nature in which Tyler discusses slapping is very disconcerting.)
Now I understand that this video was done extemporaneously, they were pressed for time, and the question was probably sprung on them so they hadn’t a lot of time to think of a good answer. I understand that. I still like Teen Wolf, and I’m still fond of Tyler Posey and Colton Haynes (though I don’t approve of keeping any celebrity on a pedestal. All humans fuck up sometimes).
I just wanted to point out that as adorable as these two boys are, the advice in this video is really bad. Please remember that kissing somebody without consent isn’t okay, and that the “friend zone” is a problematic concept.
That’s all I really wanted to say.
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