Apparently inability to orgasm/difficulty achieving orgasm is a lot more common than we’re led to believe by the media. People who have trouble achieving orgasm are led to believe that there is something wrong with us, and that our sex lives are somehow incomplete.
I think this is a ridiculous notion. My girlfriend and I both have difficulty achieving orgasm, but that doesn’t mean our sex life is lacking.
My ex used to treat me like I was deliberately sabotaging his efforts to be a “good lover,” and more than once accused me of “not trying hard enough” to orgasm. He also made me feel at fault by saying I was “thinking too hard about it” (I wasn’t) and that I had somehow created a mental block. I really don’t think I had.
I don’t care whether or not I have orgasms, I really don’t, because that’s not what sex is about for me. Sex is about sharing an intimate, emotional experience with my partner.
My advice about sex is: have it if you want it, and don’t feel compelled to follow some made-up “rules” about what sex should be. As long as you and your partner(s) are all having a good time and enjoying yourselves, fuck what anyone else thinks.